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Half way through Chemotherapy

 

Half way

You have to celebrate the small wins and the big wins. I have completed four rounds of the nasty red devil and survived. I had an ultrasound to see how the cancer has responded to the first four rounds and I can happily say the cancer has shrunk. Still waiting for confirmation from my oncologist as Easter holidays have impacted that, but the lovely lady who did my ultrasound informed me that the cancer has shrunk 2cm and is now sitting at 0.7cms. This was something worth celebrating which I did with my friends and family. 




I had my follow-up appointment with my oncologist and after reviewing how I managed the side effects of the first drug he has decided to do dose dense treatment with my next drug. This means I will have more condensed treatment less frequently. So instead of 12 rounds weekly, it will be 4 rounds fortnightly. Hence finishing my chemo treatment over four months instead of the original six months. Pretty happy about that. Positives of this is only four more blood tests and four more treatments, less time to take off work and hopefully the side effects of neuropathy will be better.

New chemotherapy drug I am taking is called paclitaxel also known as taxol. Main side effect of this is neuropathy which is tingling in hands and feet. If bad it will make it difficult to pick things up. Bit worried about typing on my computer for work. If it does get bad though the drug will be altered with a less dose. I am having the drug dose dense, the oncologist has suggested it shouldn’t be as bad, which means I should get the full amount of treatment. The negative of going dose dense is the aches and pains in my bones because of the needle I take to increase the white blood cells in my bone marrow. I think the stimulation causes the pain, but that may not be correct. Got to take the good with the bad. This treatment is meant to be better in regards to the side effects than the last treatment. 

Last night I had a pre medication drug which is meant to help prevent allergic reactions to the taxol. The pre med drug though had its own side effects and gave me night sweats and insomnia. I barely slept a wink. It’s crazy getting side effects from a tablet that is meant to prevent side effects. I much prefer being awake all night though than having an allergic reaction. 

I want to touch on chemo fog and my experience with it. I was worried it may effect my ability to do my job, but so far it hasn’t. I think that is because I can focus on one thing at a time. Chemo fog affects your ability to multi task. Upon reflection, I feel like my social skills have been impacted through chemo fog. I have always been a social person and love talking to people. But with the mental fatigue and then the chemo fog, if I am having a bad day, I have found it hard to be social and communicate as well as I used to. It’s possibly more when I am catching up with multiple people because there is at times more than one conversation to focus on, hence multitasking and I just don’t have the brain power and energy to engage in the conversation like I used to. I am definitely not going to stop socialising as I love catching up with my friends and family. I just need to possibly monitor my fatigue and not plan things when I am having a not so good day. 

Self-Discovery

So half way through and what have I discovered.
  • I have discovered I am definitely a fighter. I feel my positive nature has helped me through the journey. 
  • I have found being an emotionally intelligent person has helped me with my many interactions with friends and family and out in the community. People react so differently when they see me or have a conversation with me and I feel I am able to read the situation and respond based on their needs. Some people ask me how I am, some people pretend not to notice or they just feel uncomfortable with talking about it and both reactions are completely fine. I am hopefully able to make them feel comfortable as I want them to come and talk to me regardless of my cancer. 
  • I have been overwhelmed with kindness and support from so many people. It has made me reflect on the person I am. A friend of mine told me that I am only getting back what I give out and I tend to believe that. So I am happy that my interactions with people in the past have made a lasting impact. I have always thought of myself as a person who is helpful and supportive especially in my workplace. So this is something I have come to be proud of. 
  • Cancer sucks but I am not alone and I appreciate all those soul sisters who have reached out and are fighting this thing along side me.
  • It’s so lovely seeing all of my friends and family so excited about the cancer shrinking, but I haven’t allowed myself to feel much of an emotion. I find it hard to be excited when I know I still have 0.7cms to go and I don’t know how it will react to the new drug. Don’t want to let myself get excited until I am disease free and rid of this cancer. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not as I am possibly repressing my emotions but just feel it is a way to be in control. 
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